One Step at A time

Even if I am slow, i think I am making progress.

If only I can stop lying to myself. 

Up and about today to start on the analysis of projects/technologies for my paper.

FORMS

Today, I was busy running after those who fail to submit their reports. Seven institutes and early submission came from three. not even half. 

Maybe it indicates how I should act towards my paper. 

I must start writing and stopping sleeping extra hours. after all these sacrifices, i can sleep all weekend. 

i can stare at the movies and watch to  my heart's content.

Tomorrow, i will submit my graduation application form and also the application for comprehensive examination. 

I am looking forward a happy birthday on the August 15th. 

I know what to wish for. and i guess you have an idea.

Let's have a great and productive week.

Up to the Challenge

I am lazy when it comes to opening emails (except if it is a personal,family/bestfriends related mails).

Today, I found an invitation to join a yahoo group sent by my professor for my only subject this term.

It has been on my blog for quite sometime. Not enough though to expire the invites. At least I still get connected to the world (other than my own, super personal world).

The egroup contains reminders on the mid-August examination (so it is real!, it can not be budged, moved, pushed over to another three months. boo.). It also have some documents that contains guidelines, syllabus for the subject and format of reports. 

We are yet to start the class on Wednesday.

I am looking forward to a stressful term. The good thing about this is that I have started early knowing it will be a lot of fun term. 

At least I am ready.

I am not sure if it is a good thing though.

I am acting crazy lately. I am actually reading my notes...reorganizing my copies of lectures and clearing my desk. 

Even the husband was staring at me like he is seeing someone else the other day while I work hard writing and murmuring to myself on my desk.

Husband told me that he is  not surprised to see me starting on my review. Was informed that his impression is that I am the person who gets what I want. 

I think he is right. Even if I was slacker during the learning process, it does not mean things are neglected until the end. 

You see,

I am Up to the Challenge.

I'm Back

Last week is final examination day and case study deadline. It was a busy week. But I am happy that I only have on more subject to go and hence I can finally settle and start with the review. I'll be having a schedule up tonight so that I can be able to monitor my progress. I hope to stick with the schedule.

Today is a busy day. I have some unfinished work to do and it is the day to have them accomplished.

Apprehensions

I have been having a "space" lately. Lots of space. which means I am lagging behind schedule. Much more than I should be. There seems to be no energy left when I get home and have to go straight to bed. Here are the things that has been clouding my mind:

1. If the application push through, how will I finish my paper on time?
2. There are so many issues popping up lately, how will I tell him that he might have to let me go before he does? 
3.  Am I ready to do this? In a sense that, am I ready to let go of the perks that I get from this no-guarantee-of-tenure position? The perks? Great friends, familiar work, management responsibility, Huge responsibility, and other things that I can  not identify now since I still have them with me. 
4. Am I ready to do this? If I am part of the team, it would be no problem. But I am in-charge of the team. Even if I am not here most of the time, the responsibility is there. Should I leave it now?
5. Money, Money, Money. Am I that rich? It seems everyone has been sending me text messages asking for a loan. With Che is okay since I know that what she borrowed is something that is not actually life changing, but the two text I received this week is domestic related money issue.
6. Can I really handle construction of the house this year? But I wanted to have a house of my own so badly. I am losing a lot of time, pretending we are coping with the present arrangement.
7. Where the hell is my Uncle who is supposed to start discussing with me the details of my house and how are we going to deal with the budget issue.
8. I want to start with my business so badly but I can't do so many things at the same time. :(
9. I feel unwell.
10. Should I cancel the interview today?

Done with the mind dump. Now, let me see your comments.

Chicken Run

When it comes to review, I stick with schedule. I strip down lessons and principles,one by one. I was not able to master them all but I learn how everything becomes part of a loop where I can keep tab on something not so familiar topic. For a month before the board exam, I breathe and lived with books and notes alone. My only break is Sunday dubbed as "movie/coffee-pasta gig". That was when I took the board exam for Chemical Engineers.

Seven years after, here I am. Way behind schedule and no plans yet on how to tackle the review. I am lost. You see here some strong points that I have but couldn't place on how to use them for this upcoming exam:

1. I can write. Blog, articles, business plan, technical plan
2. My work and academic background revolves on technology- transfer, processing, products

Unfortunately,

1. I can't write long compositions. I tend to make report brief and concise. 
2. I argue. Always playing Devil's advocate.
3. Full-time working (management, technical) and long traveling hours.

I am hoping to start the review officially and maintain it as planned but even with several attempts, it just keep on going back to square one: missed schedule, unexpected meetings, sickness.

But one have to start. I will start again. this time, i'll take it more seriously. will work harder.

Wit

I hate to admit this but because of  fear from committing mistakes, a day with the boss around makes me so scared and nervous. Sometimes, I feel like quitting because everyday feels like a challenge that is full of guessing game. But if one would look at it closely, there would be others who will exchange shoes with me if permitted. They love being with the boss, talking with the boss, even lectured by the boss. I am scared of that. Committing mistakes, explaining myself to the boss. It is making me restless. Not because I don't have the self-esteem and skills but I am scared of falling short from expectations. Maybe, it's me all along. Having that too high expectation dragged me around feeling terrorized. This should stop.

Should I call it quits then? Where would I go after this? Teaching? Back to the technical world where routine makes you feel old and outdated? Should I be writing online instead? Tend the house, cook, garden and be happy until the hubby comes home? Sigh. There must be some answer to this.

Since I started working, it feels awkward talking to the boss aside from reporting about my job. This is no different from the other jobs that I had. It is the same: no private life issues tackled with co-workers particularly those with the boss. So here I am, avoiding my boss if possible. I dont talk to him that much unless needed. Is is bad? to be aloof with the boss?

It is thursday. An enjoyable week so far, except for the minutes that I submitted late for his signature there was no problem encountered. Now, if only he will give it back to me soon...our meeting starts 2pm and it is still on his table...my bad.

Fix it

Noticed that countdown timer on the lowest  portion of this blog? It is not working! I will try to fix it so that it will be easier to see how near is comprehensive exam.

Today, I will be concentrating on my job the whole morning. There are so many things that I have neglected since finals kicked in last semester. Although it will be more readings to come since I am preparing for the big event - the compre- I have to catch up with my other responsibilities.

My priorities?
1. proposal generation
2. minutes of meetings
3. newsletter
4. inventory of equipment

On the school department, i have to give it at least two hours of my time daily. Today is INVENTORY DAY. I will be checking on the materials on hand and find those missing (borrowed or not photocopied). Maybe i will stick to the scheduled subject on checking the materials so that it will be easier to find them. I have a hunch that there is so many of these papers.

Happy to do something worthwhile.

Move forward.

Vacations. I. Love.

Summer class is drawing near. And so is Compre Exam.

Wow.

So, I am on the final semester of my Masters.

This means more readings to do.

Tomorrow I am officially starting my self-review.

It does not mean it would be the start of reading. Tomorrow is for inventory of all the materials that I need.

Then checking on my brain if there are retained ones so that I can start on those I have no idea-subjects.

I will blog about the progress of my studying.

And make summaries so that I can keep up with what I miss.

Thank. You. For. the. Control.

(Up there is my school)

Happy weekend.

Four Days of Fun

...if only I can stop from working on the write up that are due on Friday and Saturday. I supposed this is the sacrifice you get when you start going up the academic ladder. At least I am happy and worryless (re: no classmates who bugs you on weekend).

I am done with the write up for the two subjects (including reporting for monday).

Still working on my report dur today! and the proposal will be prepared/finalized tomorrow.

Here is what keeps me going though:

Yep. I am excited to start on crafting and movie marathon after Monday. And I am already dreaming about the driving lessons (+ automotive).

Half Day Fun

Today is declared 'Half day" holiday. One of the funny things on this side of the world. It's like handing over a bowl of ice cream and you were instructed to eat only half of it. Okay, the other way around: you want the ice cream badly and you were fortunately given a bowl with an instruction of eating only half. 

I am not ungrateful or something, I just don't understand it at all. Obviously, everyone is going to be on the road as you hit the gate and well, there will be traffic jam and to add the scattered campaign people aggravating the traffic condition. A joy it will be, a half day holiday. (sarcasm)

On the school department, Friday is the deadline of the synthesis papers. Email to the professor. And so does the IP management paper. So many deadlines, so many activities that would have made the four day holiday happier. But we can't. Have to work harder to move forward.

Hope you will have a blast. tell me about it when you get back, while I will contentedly drink my coffee over a pile of reading materials and assignments.

Keep moving forward with a happy heart.

Taking it Easy

I would not be so hard on myself today, that's a promise made earlier. To keep my promise, here is the activity set for today:

1. Finish presentation for tomorrow's proposal
2. Finish write up (the missed one and the proposal)
3. Prepare documents for tomorrow morning's activity - this is for tonight's to-do list
4. decide if I will be skipping work on Friday or not. If yes, print reading materials for Saturday.
5. No sugar, no additional salt, more water.
6. relax by 4pm.
7. Go home by 4:40 pm. Ask the better half if you can unwind for few minutes before heading home.
8. Go to bed early.

Happy Wednesday.

Moving Towards the Goal.

Power

Most of us in our class now are probably busy with their paper and I am trying to be busy with the paper but I can't. Few minutes ago, I found myself looking for a new job in my old workplace! I am considering the supervisory position but wondering if it is a good idea to pursue interest since it would be four day job 12 hours a day.

Anyway, I will try to focus on my workload and here are the activities for the day:

1. Finish the full blown proposal 

2. Start with the presentation (probably tonight)

3. Read IP Management lectures for exam tomorrow.

4. Relax (3 pm)

5. Go home by 4pm.

6. Bonding with my loves.

7. get more sleep. 

I will try to break down the goals again later. hope to achieve something today.

It is Tuesday and my week is fully booked! I will probably skip work Friday to slow down a bit before the exam on Saturday. It depends on the hubby's schedule then.

Home Work

*UPDATED

The least that I need now are stress factors like classmates comparing how many write up was finished. That is why even if I am officially "non-working" today and still here in the office it is an effort to hide from people who might disturb my focus. Good thing, the girls wanted to eat out on the nearest mall.

Here's the remaining activity for the day:

1. Read topic 2: Innovation and National Government Strategies

• The Evolutionary Foresight Process and It's Application to Agenda-Setting for S&T Policy
• Horizontal diversification in the Danish national system of innovation: the Case of Pharmaceuticals
• The Evolution and Structure of Industrial Clusters in Japan
• Industry-academic-government cooperation in technological innovation and human resource development

2. Start on the assessment of the  Scenarios - to be emailed to my groupmate draft only
3. Initial draft of my presentation (Topic: Democarcies can win the peace) for tomorrow (I can finish it during lunchtime tomorrow, I guess)   - my bad, i finished it during class since my not reliable usb stick broke down.did not get to present as well since mine is 25th chapter. the book have 25 chapters. *wink

***

On Laughs:


I will be going out early for meet-ups with the seller of gadget. Finally, my long-awaited digital camera: Sony DSC H20.  


I am so excited. 


The hubby will meet me there also so he can accompany me during the negotiation. 


UPDATE: We have the coveted digital camera by 7:30PM last Friday. During negotiation, I found myself asking hubby if he wants the Ipod Touch. (I want to buy it for him as a gift. shhh. don't tell him)

t

so happy with the purchase. Great gadget. My other love, Wii, will be forgotten for awhile. 

Photo credit: http://www.itechnews.net/ 

***


Working Forward. 

enjoy your day, it's Friday! 

Read On

Until 7 o'clock, I am hoping to finish reading these.

Still on reading materials:

1. Lessons in the Service Sector
2. Services Science: A New Field for today's Economy
3. The Five Tasks of Strategic Management

Moving forward.

Finally, I was able to finish this reading although not sure if will be able to finish the write up before 3o'clock. 

But I am hoping to finish all the tasks I have set earlier this week.  

In Between Energy Drink

Here I was, trying to finish as many as I can read and my head is starting to throb. 15 minutes ago, I am playing games online because my head feels like it is going to have a migraine due to excessive reading.

I am not done yet with the synthesis and my eyes seems to pop out of their socket.

Thus this entry.

I just want to tell you that I am still alive, not buried in any reading materials.

Hope you enjoy your thursday. Mine is enjoyed with tons of reading materials and Gatorade.

Approved

Just to remind myself to move forward on the full-blown proposal making: My topic was approved with the following instructions:

• find books on New Public Management and Good Governance
• according to the Prof, there are downloadable somewhere in the net.

•  the method can be a project (or program, on my case) audit, sort of ( but i can still stick to the proposed method, just go easy a little bit on the assessment since impact assessment might be not that doable
• ensure data are accessible (which is so okay with me. )

***

I already have done some of the steps to move towards the projects final output and I think there are more things to do that I will list down tonight. So far, I have the following:

1. folder/envelope for my project and other printed items.
2. instructions downloaded and printed (to be read over tonight for the planning phase)
3. called the professor for his approval
4. file for reference tonight.

***

Now, back to my reading activity and writing of the synthesis.

Reminders:

• Friday, scheduled meeting with the technology transfer people of FNRI
• prepare documents (not submitted originals)
• prepare reference document for the discussion like info on program handled, current responsibilities, etc.
• Thursday, meeting with Russ regarding the scenario building final write up
• read scenario building lectures
• comic strip for the grand scenario, scheduled submission: next week
• Thursday, submit all synthesis through email. No buts.
• Today, download materials re IP. File in a envelop for easy reading. Lecture + Reading Materials, copy to a CD.

***

I know. Too many activities. But it's a nice day so I think the list will be accomplished today.

Lazy Week

Whenever there are deadlines to beat, I get lazy. So lazy that I will not have any output the whole day. It seems that I tend to remember everything that needs to be done, anything that is least important of all the task that I should be doing. So I try to remind myself (pinch?) that there are deadlines for my projects. Here are the tasks that I should be doing now:

1. Read and synthesize the assigned topics for my Forecasting subject. I should have finished at least three topics buy now.
2. Cover at least one chapter of the Marketing book that I set aside for this month's review (this is for the Comprehensive Exam)
3. Read the Forecasting subject's lecture since I will be doing the assessment of the scenario building for my groupwork. 


There are more tasks that can be done today but I have to break it down and keep it conservative so that I will not feel burdened. I hope top get back here later to add some more and remove the three list above (change with new task).

Enjoy the day. Just finished my coffee a minute ago.