Wit

I hate to admit this but because of  fear from committing mistakes, a day with the boss around makes me so scared and nervous. Sometimes, I feel like quitting because everyday feels like a challenge that is full of guessing game. But if one would look at it closely, there would be others who will exchange shoes with me if permitted. They love being with the boss, talking with the boss, even lectured by the boss. I am scared of that. Committing mistakes, explaining myself to the boss. It is making me restless. Not because I don't have the self-esteem and skills but I am scared of falling short from expectations. Maybe, it's me all along. Having that too high expectation dragged me around feeling terrorized. This should stop.

Should I call it quits then? Where would I go after this? Teaching? Back to the technical world where routine makes you feel old and outdated? Should I be writing online instead? Tend the house, cook, garden and be happy until the hubby comes home? Sigh. There must be some answer to this.

Since I started working, it feels awkward talking to the boss aside from reporting about my job. This is no different from the other jobs that I had. It is the same: no private life issues tackled with co-workers particularly those with the boss. So here I am, avoiding my boss if possible. I dont talk to him that much unless needed. Is is bad? to be aloof with the boss?

It is thursday. An enjoyable week so far, except for the minutes that I submitted late for his signature there was no problem encountered. Now, if only he will give it back to me soon...our meeting starts 2pm and it is still on his table...my bad.